Imago relationship therapy can move you from Conflict into Connection and, ultimately, into Healing!
This process starts with learning effective communication. Effective communication is essential to good relationships. Good communication skills may not solve problems or resolve issues, but no problems can be solved or issues resolved without them. Defined as the verbal or non-verbal exchange of information, meaning, and feelings between two persons, communication covers every possible way we can interact. We may communicate well or poorly, but we cannot not communicate.
We often don’t realize how little we are listening to other people when they are speaking, especially our intimate partners, but are listening instead to our own internal response. We need to fully hear the message the other is sending so that the person will feel deeply heard. The realization that you accurately understand is healing for your partner, and it is a growth experience for you, even if you do not agree with what your partner is saying. Agreement is not necessary, but seeing the other’s point of view is. Taking time to accurately understand not only what the person is saying, but also what he or she means, increases safety, deepens your connection and effects mutual healing.
One of the most effective forms of healing communication between people in an intimate relationship is the Imago Dialogue. It consists of three steps: mirroring, validation, and empathy. If you are in an intimate relationship, working on this together is the best way to create a safe and healing relationship. However, if you are not currently in a relationship or your partner is not currently willing to engage with you in communicating in this way, it is possible to practice the principles of Imago Dialogue yourself or in a group situation. The principles of listening, understanding and empathizing can be applied to all relationships but the specifics will need to be adapted to be appropriate. Practicing these steps will feel awkward at first as well as difficult. But as you practice, the lines between each step slowly dissolve and you move from practicing Dialogue to becoming dialogical. Being committed to becoming dialogical in all your interactions is the most important element in creating safe, satisfying, and lasting relationships. Dialogue helps us understand the unique inner world of the other. We learn to see how their world works for them and to share our own world in ways that invite curiosity. We move towards becoming a whole, separate being in connection with another.
You can learn more about the the specifics of Imago Dialogue, here. You can find information about why Imago works, here. I hope you will also explore the many resources on the Imago Home Page. Ultimately, you may decide you want to contact a psychologist or therapist who works in the Imago style. You can contact me to learn more or to schedule a free phone consultation.
